A High-Level Summary of the Book by Stone, Patton and Heen. Office of In most difficult conversations, there are different perceptions of the same reality. A Difficult Conversation Is Anything. You Find It Hard to Talk About. Sexuality, race, gender, politics, and religion come quickly to mind as difficult topics to. Slappy said: Difficult Conversations is a how-to self-help book on negotiating conflict in emo Douglas Stone,. Bruce Patton.,. Sheila Heen A “difficult conversation,” according to Stone et al, is “anything you find it hard to talk about”.

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I read this on a recommendation from a friend who gave it to me on a list of business books to read. Dopo quasi un anno sono riuscita a terminare questo libro che dormicchiava nella mia libreria e che ho letto con fatica.

You can make strong demands on someone without acting like a patfon or a blowhard.

Feb 27, Ben Christensen added it Shelves: Let’s imagine Henry decides to take the weekend off despite Rosario’s continued insistence that he stay. When a person does walk away, they should explain why, describing their interests, feelings and choices.

Difficult Conversations

How does each party feel about it? Jul 12, Debra rated it really liked it Recommends it for: Do not present your views as if they were the one-and-only truth.

Compared to the other ‘be-vulnerable-and-have-the-courage-to-talk-about-hard-shit’ books I’ve recently read this one seemed too business-y and dry, the process it outlines too prescribed. I want to reread this one and take notes.

The second set of mistakes concerns understanding the parties’ intentions. To move toward a leaning conversation, parties must shift from certainty about their own views, to curiosity about the other’s views of the situation. Colleague Activities Find out about the intractable conflict-related work that others in the yeen and conflict field are doing.

  FD P18-011 PDF

Aug 24, Jaclyn rated it liked it. But I’m having a hard time concentrating on what you’re saying, because I feel really angry and cornered right now.

I am large, I contain multitudes. Tea rated it did not like it Shelves: But it’s also obvious that the pedestrian contributed to the accident by walking across the street; similarly, the driver’s friends contributed by not doing more to keep him from drinking and driving.

Each needs to think about what they will do if they can’t arrive at a solution together. May 20, Laleh rated it it was amazing. Letting Go Sometimes difficult issues should be raised; others times it is converwations to let them go. Clear, precise, to the point, it does exactly what it sets out to do.

Any that you really don’t want to have. Once you manage to do that during a conversation, than sone are able to listen better to the other person.

Instead, start conversations from the perspective of a “third story” that describes or at least acknowledges the difference between the parties views in neutral terms. And I found it so interesting and potentially helpful I replaced my library copy with a tree one as soon as I finished. This is easier said that done.

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most

I definitely noticed a lot of the negative traps I fall into and I want to try some of the new tips suggested in the book. The strategies described are very complex and I think it takes quite some time and dedication to get them working. Often the conversation does not specifically address the participants’ feelings, but these emotions inform it, and determine its intensity and course. But discomfort and awkwardness are not limited to topics on the editorial page.

Based on fifteen years of research at the Harvard Negotiation Project, Difficult Conversations walks you through a step-by-step proven approach to having your toughest conversations with less stress and more success. Recognize the smorgasbord of facts, observations, values, interpretations, etc.


I am very glad that I read this book, and I feel sure that it will have a positive impact on all difficult conversations I have from here on out. Dec 07, Jeanne-Ann rated it it was amazing.

Tell us about your work. The other party needs to persuade you just as much as you need to persuade her. Mar 03, Sandra rated it it was amazing. I think she was trying to tell me something. Overall, a pretty solid read. Aug 08, Otis Chandler rated it really liked it Shelves: I haven’t finished it yet. Very well structured and simple.

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone

Sometimes one difficulty in conversations is that identities are threatened. Think again of a drunk driver who runs over a pedestrian: Simple emotional labels can mask complex bundles of feeling. But it was so much more. Contributing to a situation does not imply being blameworthy for that situation; leaving your car unlocked contributes to its being convdrsations, but certainly does not make you to blame for the theft.

Probably one of the most immediately useful hden I’ve read. No trivia or quizzes yet. A conversation is affected by the image people have about themselves.

We also tend think the worst of others, and the best of ourselves. Third, separate the issue from your identity. Check out our Quick Start Guide.